2015 was quite a year. It was a year filled with many new feelings and challenges. A year filled with facing the unknown and nearly constant anticipation. A year filled with change, with hope, with loss.
So, here's to 2016. Our son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter are finally back together, after nearly a year of being separated by his duties. Our oldest is healing well from her broken neck and will begin college again next week. Our middle daughter continues to get busier as the little ones grow and begin to school.
We have left our church of over 20 years. We are still unsure where that will lead us. There is deep sadness where the people are concerned. I miss the community of believers...however, many, many others have had to leave, as well, so we are dispersed anyway.
It would be easy to fall into a depression at this point. My emotions run the gamut each day, it seems.
Words fill my mind, but I'm having trouble getting them to the page.
Some things are very raw...missing my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter. Deep, abiding sadness over church, the misapplication and misinterpretation being taught. Wondering what God has in store for me next and understanding that this is a time of restoration and relaxation for me and that it is okay to have that time.
Allowing myself that time has always been difficult for me. It makes me feel guilty. However, I've also learned that it is crucial for me to have that time. To work things out at my own pace.
The words will come, I am sure of that. The disjointedness I feel will wear off and my new normal will set in. God will reveal His next steps for me.
I can completely, totally, and joyfully trust that!
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