Yesterday, that was abruptly changed.
I doubt that anyone will ever truly know why he made the decision he did. Something hurt so badly inside of him, he felt the need to give up trying.
It makes me so very sad. I have dealt with the depths of depression. I have, at times, contemplated suicide, but so many factors brought me back from the brink. I understand anxiety. I understand insecurity, to the point of being irrational and swept up in it. I can even understand feeling so despondent that I saw no other option, but then I would see the face of my husband, see the faces of my children, receive a phone call from a dear friend or loved one and realize just what I would be giving up. We'll never know why those things weren't enough to prevent him from giving up. All we can do is cling to God and cling to each other, especially the sweet woman who so strongly desired to make her marriage all God said it could be.
There is a long road ahead, it awaits her and her precious boys. I pray that she will cling to her faith and to those who love and care about her.
Psalms 30:11-12 (NIV)
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.