In the weeks leading up to my final surrender, the Holy Spirit brought numerous things into my path in order for me to understand that God was who He said He was, that He loved me, and that He wanted me to be His. He sent books, newspaper articles, and even conversations overheard when out for supper. He was finally gaining a grip on my heart and He wasn't going to let go, a fact for which I am eternally grateful!
In recent weeks & months, He's been doing much the same thing. Due to circumstances in our life, my call back to prayer was intense and focused. I knew that I needed to make a commitment to my relationship to God and to those I loved and be fervent in prayer, not just giving lip-service, so I started a notebook. That notebook has become an extension of me! It is filled with prayer requests, journal entries, and hope!
Apparently I wasn't the only one God was working on in that area and for the past two weeks our pastor has preached on the same thing! Changing our thinking, changing our praying! This past Sunday he spoke about how prayer doesn't change our circumstances, it changes us! It changes our perspective on our circumstances, it helps us to live according to God's will and not our own. So....today as I'm reading Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst, she says the same thing! And.........in my e-mail this morning was an article by Larry Crabb about the PAPA prayer and praying to simply know God more intimately and let that change us. Transformation, I see it coming!! And......Beth Moore's study, Living Beyond Yourself is saying the SAME thing!! God has a message for me and just like 18 years ago, I'm going to heed it. Prayer isn't about me and what I want, it's about God and what He wants!
The things I've been learning haven't just been about prayer, they've also been about commitment, denial of self, transformation. It's been a powerful time, considering I've felt so dry for the past two years or so (hence the quiet blog!). It's so wonderful to washed in the Word! Even though I'm struggling with some winter blues and this inner ear thing, there is a peace that is permeating things, just knowing that He's with me, paying attention, giving help for the struggles I've been dealing with for so long.
Romans 12:1-2 (ESV)
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.