Sunday, March 30, 2008

Do you wonder sometimes if God is paying attention?

God has been impressing the idea of rest on my heart and mind the past few days. It began with Matthew 11:28-30 on Friday. When my friend called and left that wonderfully encouraging message for me, wanting to encourage me because God was prompting her to, I began to really see that He was indeed paying attention to all the things that I have been feeling and struggling with.

Then, this morning, at worship, our worship pastor started to read Matthew 11:28-30. My heart was so struck that I didn't even sing along with the song Come Unto Me, I just let it sink into my spirit. The rest of the songs continued to feed my weary soul.

Then, in Pastor Jim's sermon, he reiterated Mt 11:28-30. Okay, so now I'm really getting the idea that I am to rest and that I am to find that rest in Him! It is okay for me to feel weary and burdened, it draws me closer to my Jesus and my rest will be like no earthly rest.

We concluded worship with these words:

Bigger Than Any Mountain

(1) Bigger than all the shadows that fall across my path,

God is bigger than any mountain that I can or can not see.

He's bigger than all the confusion, bigger than anything;

God is bigger than any mountain that I can or can not see.

Chorus: He's bigger than all my problems, bigger than all my fears;

God is bigger than any mountain that I can or can not see.

Oh, yes, he's bigger than all my question, bigger than anything;

God is bigger than any mountain that I can or can not see.

(3) He's bigger than all the giants of pain and unbelief;

God is bigger than any mountain that I can or can not see.

He's bigger than any discouragement, bigger than anything;

My God is bigger than any mountain that I can or can not see.

Friday, March 28, 2008

So, today, I'm working at unloading our food co-op truck and I leave my cellphone in the car, charging. Mind you, I've had a pretty icky week (see previous posts). I go back to the car to get the checkbook and I checked my messages. There was the sweetest, most encouraging message from a dear friend of mine. She had felt the Lord prompting her to call and encourage me today. It wasn't so much the message that touched me, but the fact that it reminded me that God is truly paying attention and that I just have to keep hanging on to the end of the rope!

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gently and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Mt. 11:28-30

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sometimes I wish God would just speak to us and give us a clear answer in regards to situations that seem beyond human understanding. I'm standing at a precipice. If I go one way, someone could be seriously hurt, if I go the other, trust will be broken, someone could be seriously hurt emotionally, but the potential for healing is much better. I'm afraid to break this person's trust, it's incredibly difficult for this person to trust, and that's putting it mildly. But, if I don't do something, something far worse could happen. I'm still not sure why this has been given to me, but I'm going to trust God as best as I can and hope that He will give me clear direction and, honestly, that He will take the responsibility from me.

It is raining/sleeting here today. The sky is heavy and gray. It will probably snow a couple of inches. This seems to be the winter that just won't end. I desperately need to get groceries, but, oh, I don't want to go out in this stuff.

I need motivation. My knitting is just sitting and I have so much that needs to get done.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

My mom is doing okay, it's just a couple of ulcers and her iron levels are improving, so she'll be able to come home tomorrow from the hospital.

I have not enjoyed having her there. She's never been in the hospital, is always healthy as a horse, as the saying goes, and she and I are very close. I'm very thankful that it was a simple solution.

I'm pretty moody today. I can't quite wrap my head around what I'm feeling. I'm a bit overwhelmed, I feel somewhat lost as to a specific direction that I need to take.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Today has been long and intense! I'm reaching out for some help for my friend and I'm praying that she is ready to take that step. She is feeling overwhelmed by her mother's condition and I can't seem to make her understand that if she would go and get the help she needs, her mother would have quite a weight lifted off of her.

My mom ended up having to go into the hospital for her anemia. She's currently receiving a blood transfusion and tomorrow will have a scope down her throat to figure out where the bleeding is coming from.

I'm exhausted!

Monday, March 24, 2008

To anonymous..maybe we could discuss the issue, rather than just commenting in a drive-by fashion.

I have returned to BID. I've realized, after another crisis came across my plate this afternoon (please pray for my mom, we have some pretty serious anemia going on and we need to get to the bottom of it pretty quickly), that my emotions are really raw with everything that I've had happening this weekend.

One of the interesting things regarding yesterday was the fact that 8 years ago yesterday, I experienced a nervous breakdown that led into a year of anxiety, panic attacks, and severe depression. It took several more years to really come to terms with it, understand it, and get over parts of it. So, to have what happened happen on that particular anniversary was a bit overwhelming, but I didn't even realize it until later. I'm so thankful for what the Lord taught me through the period of my life and I know that He continues to use it to refine me and so that I can help others.

We've had an interesting thing happen on the political front. I can't say much more than that right now, but the whole things stinks of dirty politics. We shall see!
It's been quite a weekend.

Saturday I was able to spend some time with a dear friend and found out that there are some serious issues going on in their family. Very sad and the ridiculous HIPAA laws have not helped the situation. I posted a question on BID on Ravelry and the majority believe that a teenager should expect and receive complete privacy from their doctors. I'm having a ton of trouble believing that I have no right to know what is going on in my child's life without his permission. I am very thankful that my children have always trusted me and share with me.

Saturday evening things got a bit more interesting. I called got called into a crisis situation that lasted through Sunday evening. I keep praying that the situation has been averted.

On the subject of BID--I can write about it here, this is my space! I decided to leave the group this morning after being told twice that I was condescending, offensive, and patronizing. I guess liberals just can't handle facts!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I've been struggling lately with a feeling of "dryness". I haven't been doing regular devotions and prayer time has been sporadic at best. I haven't been able to put my finger on it, other than the winter being long and always feeling so tired.

Yesterday I had to take hubby to Des Moines to pick up one of the semi's and I ran a couple of errands. I went to the Christian bookstore and was glancing around and saw Beth Moore's Get Out of the Pit 40 day devotional journal. I picked it up and looked through it. I've had the book on my shelf since it came out, but hadn't even looked through it. I decided to buy the journal and commit to reading the book and doing the journal work to kick start my alone time with God.

So, this morning I started reading the book. I've always thought about my "pits" in terms of sin, my inability to lose weight and even get focused on that, my prayerlessness, my laziness, and those are certainly things that help to keep me in a pit, but I discovered something else this morning...I've lost vision. Beth Moore says, "We become what the Bible calls stiff necked. The close confinement of a pit exhausts us with the endless echo of self-absorption. Visibility extends no further than six inches from our noses. We can't see out, so we turn our sights in. After a while, nearsightedness breeds hopelessness. We feel too buried in our present state to feel passionate about a promised future."

That is the perfect description of how I feel currently. Visionless, buried, nearsighted, self-absorbed. I'm looking forward to getting into this book and finding renewed vision.

Oh Lord, give me a passion and a strength that only come from you. Help me to see my way out of this pit I feel mired in. I know that You don't want me to stay here. Thank you for beginning to draw me out.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

What a weekend!!! Friday night ran late, then Saturday morning came quickly. I had to get up early for our last ladies breakfast in the format we've been using for years. We're excited about the new direction that it is going to take, going into our homes and opening them up and practicing hospitality.

After ladies breakfast we were off to the bank and post office, followed a short half hour and my "sister's" house. A trip to the local church to pick up my friend's angel food boxes (way cool ministry). We ran a couple of other errands, stopped for lunch, and then went to my nephew's and niece's birthday party for a short time and then headed to a friend's Longaberger party. We were able to stay there for an hour and then we were off again.

I was able to be home for about 45 min. before I had to leave again to get to my sister-in-laws. She had scored 2 free tickets to Third Day and invited me to go along. Since it was over an hour to get there, we had plenty of time to talk and catch up and it was wonderful.

The concert was great!! The first band was a young band from Australia called Revive. They were very good. The second band was DecembeRadio and they were awesome. The lead singer is a Tom Petty look-a-like, but a much better singer, in my estimation. They could really rock and I really enjoyed them. The third band was Sanctus Real. They were great, too. Finally, Third Day came on and we worshipped and rocked.

Despite the late night, it was a lot of fun and I'd do it again. Of course, Sunday morning came quickly! After church we celebrated mine, hubby's, and pops birthdays. The whole family was here and we had fun playing with the Wii. The boys got into boxing and mom and I bowled. She beat me three games in a row!!

The next few days look pretty quiet, so I'm hoping to catch up on my knitting. Ravelry had me pretty wrapped up a few days last week, but I'm hoping to avoid getting caught up in any ridiculous arguments. They just aren't going to understand until the Holy Spirit opens their minds and hearts to the truth of God's Word.
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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

God is so good! It was not a hemorrhage, but some sort of stroke. He is responding and opening his eyes and that is truly miraculous!!!!!

Today has been a weird day. I haven't been motivated at all, despite the sunshine and warm temperatures. I mildly sprained my ankle last night and so moving around hasn't excited me. It's not terribly painful, just a bit uncomfortable when I move it funny. I have accomplished a bit of laundry, a smidge of knitting, and a raucous debate on Ravelry about being a submitted wife. That one wore me out.

The lady that I do Bible study with and counsel some is having another down turn and that is depressing me. I've tried reaching out to someone I thought could help, but I have not heard back. I know that God does not want her given up on, but those around her are wearing down.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Yesterday, despite being my birthday, was a sad day. We had our Republican County Convention yesterday and I was on the registration committee. The gentleman in charge of registration fell very ill shortly after we got there. We could tell something was wrong, but we were hoping it wasn't as serious as it turned out to be. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine was there and she realized it was pretty severe and she called an ambulance. Sadly, it was to late. He suffered a massive hemorrhage on his brain and is now in a coma and not expected to live much longer. I had just spent a morning with him a couple of days before and got to know him a bit more. I'd always enjoyed him, I can't explain why. So, I spent a good chunk of yesterday praying for him. By late afternoon, we knew that it was bad. Oddly enough, I soon found out that he is the father of a friend of mine from church. I called to let her know that we had been with him while it was happening (2 friends from her own church who had no idea that he was her father and we were praying for him, what a GOD moment!). She was very appreciative and grateful that he was doing what he loved and that God had put people around him who were praying and caring.

I've been pondering it all since it happened. How quickly things can change. One moment he was helping us all to understand what we were to be doing and the next he was in a chair, sweating profusely and unable to hold his head up. Life is precious. It is a wonderful gift from God! Are we living it to serve Him, are we living it abundantly? Are we letting the people we love know that we love them? Are we living with an attitude of gratitude and joy? I pray that we are, you just never know.

My birthday was still a nice day. Hubby and I went out for supper and I was able to get some relaxation time in during the afternoon. Today, I feel like I'm coming down with a cold and am very stuffy and headachy. We are quite worn out from the very busy week we've had, early mornings, later evenings, and it all begins again tomorrow. Praise God!! He remains so faithful even when life gets hectic and busy and sometimes confusing.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

We may not end up with quite as much snow as they were predicting! Woo Hoo!! Unfortunately, they are calling for very cold temperatures again this weekend. Only a short time until spring!

My darling son won a bet with hubby last night. Dad bet him that he couldn't scale the wall in the barn and open the loft door and get down a bale of hay. Dear son proved dad wrong and we got to go for pizza last night for supper! Afterwards, we came home and enjoyed our favorite disney movie "101 Dalmations". The kids used to watch it almost daily when they were little, and my son would watch it 3 times a day if I let him. It is still as wonderful as they remembered (and hubby and me, too!)

Today I'm hoping to get something done. I've been fighting a headache on and off for over 36 hours, but it might be nipped in the bud now, so I've got my desk to clean up (since dear son took my desktop computer to his room since hubby bought me a laptop). I need to work on laundry, cleaning the house, two baby sweaters, graph out a crochet project and a few other things. I guess I'd better get busy!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

My birthday is this week, so my friend (the lady that I've been doing Bible study with for a year now) threw me a party today. We had a great time and she got me some really sweet gifts and made me a wonderful birthday cake! Considering how difficult her life has been recently, this was a huge step in the right direction and I really enjoyed myself!

The weather is decent today, not warm, but the sun is shining and it's gaining in strength, so it feels a bit warmer. Unfortunately, we're expecting 2 inches of snow tomorrow and the possibility of more on Thursday. They are even talking about people's mental health on the news in regards to this very long winter.
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Monday, March 03, 2008

S and I went to see "The Other Boleyn Girl" yesterday afternoon despite the reviews we had read. We found it to be fairly decent and enjoyed it. It wasn't terribly factual, but the costumes and sets were great and the acting was okay. Of course, it peaked our interest, so after the movie we headed to Barnes and Noble for some biographies!

The weather went from being sunny and warm (it was in the 60's before we went into the theater) to rainy and cold! By bedtime, it was sleeting and raining and when I woke up this morning, snow covered the ground again. The warmth felt so nice yesterday. I'm trying really hard not to complain, but I'm really ready for spring.

I really need to get something done today, I have bookwork to do, knitting to get done, and some cleaning, so I'd better get to it.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

We have company this morning and had totally forgotten they were coming. Baby L is almost 3!

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I wish I had taken the camera, but I didn't. Yesterday, during chore time, hubby called me and told me that a young bald eagle was flying over the barn area so I went out on the back step and watched a beautiful young eagle soar over my head. It would have been a beautiful picture, but, well, oh well.