My heart is heavy for a dear friend of mine. She has been through so much, including the terminal illness of her husband (which he's still dealing with). Her health has been failing for a couple of years, but she always rebounded. That may no longer be the case. I wish I could express the love I have for this dear woman. She is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and, I believe, even a great-great-grandmother. She & her husband took in their great-granddaughter and raised her as their own. She was married earlier this summer. Now, it's time for us to let her go. I will rejoice because she will get to see Jesus, she will be whole, and she will no longer be fighting the battles this world brings, but I will be sad because I will miss her encouraging words, her loving hugs, and her gentle spirit.

Sometimes this life seems beyond difficult. It's hard, it hurts, it's infuriating, but,

Psalms 119:76 (NIV)
May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.

My comfort is not found in this world, but in the loving arms of a loving God.

So, I did it again! I allowed myself to get sucked in on Ravelry. I've been avoiding most of the political discussion, as well as social discussions for quite some time and was getting a lot more knitting done and had a much better emotional well-being. Well, due to the dust-up in Remnants and on the Big Six, a couple of other groups were opened up for the more controversial subjects. These wouldn't require debate, etc., just places to discuss. That was the premise. Unfortunately, it's the same old bullies refusing to believe that they just might be wrong. Heck, they just might be bigots and prejudiced. Well, I don't need that. I've felt myself seething under the surface for a couple of days and I hate the way that makes me feel. So, I've shaken the dust, again, and quit all the more liberal groups. Sadly, the conservative groups are pretty darn boring and I quit my religion groups a couple of weeks ago, so I'm back to getting a lot of knitting done! That is a good thing!

Psalms 42:1-11 (NIV)
¹ As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
⁴ These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and
⁶ my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon--from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
⁸ By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me-- a prayer to the God of my life.
⁹ I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
¹¹ Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

How do you let go of fear? Fear of the unknown, the future, your past, who you really are?

Fear of not doing it right, not being acceptable? Fear of wanting to become one thing but feeling like you'll never make it? Fear of never accomplishing anything? Fear of being afraid? Fear of being completely honest about yourself and fear that they won't hear you?

I'm at that point right now. No one is listening.