As a part of my recent "clean it all" productivity spree, I went through all of my stash and got all the summer baby projects lined up. Each project is in a labeled ziploc bag, each pattern is in my "current projects" notebook, each pattern is labeled with the recipients name. Since there are 7 babies coming between June and August and I know that 4 of those are boys (what's with all the boys!!!???), I felt like being prepared was a good thing. Now, as I finish them, I can just grab the next bag and keep knitting.

I was able to get S's sweater fixed and the left front attached to the back. I started Baby D's Dale baby sweater. I need to finish weaving in the ends on my Olympic sweater. I have trouble getting started with that, but once I do, it's not so bad.

I sent a letter to Moose. I shared with him a little about my life and my testimony. I'm praying that God will be glorified and that Moose will be receptive to the message. God is certainly during a work there, more than I can reveal here, but I have no doubt that I was to contact Moose. It really is amazing how God works in such fine detail in our lives. I'm so grateful for dear friends who pray and encourage! I'm also grateful for new friends who's only desire is to be obedient to God and to share His life giving message.

I'm a little down today, though. I was able to do my 5-mile and felt good doing it, but it hasn't really helped my mood as it usually does. I can't really elaborate on here about the struggles, but I know that God is in control, no matter how badly I want to fix, analyze, control, or correct the situation.

I often wish that I had something witty and wise to post about, instead, life seems blissfully boring right now.

I've recently been feeling very convicted about getting the house in order, keeping it relatively clean, keeping myself occupied with one thing or another. In Titus 2:3-5, one of the commands is to be busy at home. That has been weighing on my mind. How often do I look around the house and see all the doggy hair (she's going through a major shed right now) and then go back to dinking on the internet? So, I've been working alot harder at...well, working.

I have so much more energy when I'm faithfully working out, I have to send it somewhere. Now that the kids are older, I don't have to spend nearly as much time getting them here and there, I can actually put more effort into our home, which pleases hubby greatly.

Yesterday, I actually cleaned the (are you ready for this?) the broom closet!!! This was the one door where everyone prepared for action before opening it. No telling how many long handled items would choose to spring out of their prison door. My daughter looked at me with disbelief when I told her what I was going to do, but she managed to recover and actually help me out.

Part of my drive to rid the house of clutter deals with my anxiety and depression. Having a bunch of stuff around tends to make me a bit crazy, so I've also decided to weed through my knitting magazines and books. I've actually posted a couple of books on e-bay, true collectors books. One of them I actually found on a rare book site selling for upwards of $333.00. I doubt that I'll get that much, but half would be nice. So, I'm sorting through all the magazines, ripping out the patterns that I would actually make (which is turning out to be a lot less than I expected) and then I hope to put the whole ones on e-bay for a mere pittance. It's been a bit more difficult than I thought, emotionally. Weird what we'll connect ourselves to. S has been going through them as well, trying to build up her repertoire of patterns.

Another part of the drive to clean is the upcoming graduation. What better excuse to deep clean than a party! I've been able to come up with a schedule for deep cleaning each room (now that the closets are almost done) that will bring us up almost to graduation day, saving kitchen and bathroom til the last. Of course, I've also got to squeeze in baking & decorating at least 4 cakes (1 for a baby shower, 3 for graducation) and possibly a smaller cake for a secondary graduation party we are doing with my niece on Mother's Day. We've also got to deal with the food. It will all get done.

It will be nice to have graduation out of the way. I'm hoping this summer is a relaxing one, although ds has several jobs lined up and until the end of July, when he gets his drivers license, he'll need someone to haul him around. I still think that we'll be able to relax a bit more. We're looking forward to a trip out to Wyoming and Yellowstone this summer with my mom and pops. Mom has never been to Yellowstone so it should be quite an experience for her. I absolutely love Yellowstone, I'm fascinated by all the plumbing. Hubby and I's favorite place though is the Tetons. We fell in love with that mountain range when we visited in 1999. It's breathtaking. We bought the movie Spencer's Mountain just so we could get a glimpse now and then.

Well, time to get back to sorting through magazines, weaving in ends on L's sweater, and frogging dd's graduation sweater (I forgot to shape the neck-my mind must have been somewhere else!)

Baby Z's finally done. It's actually Vikings purple! 

Another week flown by! I did the 5-mile walk again this past Saturday. I feel so good when I get done! I've done 3-miles yesterday and today. I'll concentrate more on strength training tomorrow.

Resurrection Sunday was a beautiful day (well, it was raining, but the sermon, the message, were beautiful!). I did overeat, but was able to jump right back on the right track on Monday.

I've been trying to get some knitting projects out of the way, I just don't feel like I'm making much progress. We're trying to get ready for daughters graduation and several other festivities in the month of May--somedays, I don't know how we'll get it all done!

Daughter is working on a project of her own (after finishing two baby blankets since the Olympics). She's making me a sweater to wear for graduation and I'm making her one. I'm quite excited. She's become just a good knitter. Her tension is perfect.

Yeah!! I did Leslie Sansone's 5-mile walk today!! I feel so good! I didn't know if I could do it, the most I ever done at one time was 3 miles. It felt great, though! I've lost 4 more pounds this week, but that just puts me back to where I was about a month and a half ago. It's so exciting to be back on the right track again!

Baby L's sweater is almost done. I've got to weave in all the ends, sew the sleeves on, and do the neckband and button bands.

Praise God as we prepare expectantly for Resurrection Sunday!

It's been a long time since I've really updated the blog. March was a rough month for me, it always is. My dr. says that I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder), so March is almost unbearable. When I saw her at the beginning of the month, she told me to just maintain, get through the month and hit it hard in April. So, I gained about 4 pounds, but I made it through March. I praised God for getting me through again and on the 1st of April, I got busy. So far, I've walked (in-home) 8 miles since Saturday. I'm already feeling so much better. I've been able to control my eating (exercising really helps!) and I'm getting back into better habits. I'm so thankful for the times of anxiety and depression that the Lord has allowed me to go through, He taught me how to come against those things when they rear their ugly heads in my life.

We are working on preparing for middle-daughters graduation this coming May. When I think about it, I get a bit overwhelmed. On top of that, my youngest is taking drivers education and will have to drive on graduation day. We're going to be in the field pretty soon, also. Oh my, sometimes, I just want to run and hide!! It will be okay, though, the Lord will see us through. I can't let myself get all worked up, the Lord always deals with it.

I've had some interesting moments in the past week or so-with my past. That probably sounds strange. One morning, at church, we discovered that a lady that I've been going to church with for a couple of years was actually my babysitter when I was about 4. Through a strange course of events, we figured out who each other was. Small world!!

That same evening, I sat down to watch "History of the Chopper" by Jesse James. My mom had taped it for me a few weeks ago on the Discovery Channel. You see, I grew up around bikers. Not just guys that rode Harleys. I grew up around El Forasteros, choppers, drugs, s**, and rock and roll. I grew up with a chopper shop in my backyard-literally. My step-dad had a shop where they tore down their bikes every winter and rebuilt them-motor up. So, when Mom said that she was taping this, I was excited. It's always interesting to see what they come up with.

My step-dad died when I was 13, the result of a drunk driver hitting him from behind. The girl on the back of the bike was killed instantly, Dad died two days later from cardiac arrest-he was paralyzed from the chest down. The man who hit him went to jail for only two years (this was in the late 70's).

So, with interest and a little anticipation, the kids and I sat down to watch the show. I knew that I had lived through an interesting time, but I didn't expect to see anything or anyone that was familiar. Plus, I figured it would be pretty localized, California.

The first couple of segments were very interesting. We went to a commercial, came back and Jesse was welding on the old school chopper that he was building from a frame from the 70's. Next thing I know, we're in the rolling hills of northern Iowa and southern South Dakata. Whoa!! What's about to happen here. My mind was whirling as he started talking about the El Forasteros. Surely there wouldn't be anyone that I knew. We see this older man riding his chopper down the highway and then we're outside the clubhouse. A man says, "My little piece of heaven is getting crowded, everyone wants a Harley". They cut to his picture and my heart jumped, then they put his name on the screen, "Moose". No! It couldn't be. I knew a Moose.

After a couple of conversations with my mom and some deductive sleuth work, we knew it had to be him. He talked about being in Des Moines. We knew that there was only one "Moose" in the El Forasteros in the early 70's. Mom hadn't watched it, but once she did, it was clinched. This was Moose. My main memory of him was at a bike show in Des Moines. I was standing with my dad, I was about 6, and there was this very big man standing on my other side. He scowled at me, I smiled, and he smiled back. My dad always told me that as long as Moose was around, I'd be safe.

What a strange thing. I've been pondering, praying, wondering what this means in my life at this moment. I've actually been able to find his real name and address. Do I contact him? Get his take on my step-dad's life and legacy? I know that he needs the Lord, is it my job to share with him or just pray for him? Is it time to put my past into words, show how God works in the heart of a child in the midst of a world most people are afraid to enter?

I know that I've been thinking about judgmentalism. I think that we are entirely to generous with our negative judgments of that which we don't understand. I know that people jump to conclusions and judgments without really understanding or even trying to understand. I know that most bikers have earned their reputation, that is often their goal, but I also know that thay are some of the most loyal people you would ever meet. They protect those they consider their own and sometimes they protect because no one else will (case in point, bikers protecting mourners at soldier's funerals because the Kansas nuts are protesting).

We are all sinners, bikers are just more open about it. We need to quit judging others and start loving them, sharing the Gospel with them. None of us are worthy of the Gospel, we need to get off our high horse and allow the Lord to work through us. Jesus ate with sinners, went where others would not dare to go. He didn't tell them to clean up their act before He came, He shared the truth, the Law, and Himself and gave them a choice. Once they make that choice, the Holy Spirit can take over.

But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:16-17